Welcome To Your New Home

Shopping — By Shopping Blogs on January 26, 2010 9:10 am

Welcome, sir or ma’am, to your new home.  I know that a lot of you are doing some comparison shopping today–that many of you are following up on the online shopping leads that we sent out a while back–so I’ll try to keep things as informative as possible.  My name is Brent, and I’ll be showing you around the home today.  You may have met my coworker, Ralph, outside, but don’t worry about him.  He won’t be joining us for the tour today.

Let’s start out here in the living room, the place where you’ll be spending your evenings.  There’s a hole in wall over there, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.  That is, of course, by design; nothing to worry about here.  Sure, it lets in a pretty bad draft during the winter, but you can always plug it up with something like a television or a mini-fridge.  Feel free to exercise your creativity when it comes to dealing with this beautiful, gaping hole in your living room wall.

If you’ll follow me, now, we’ll take a look at the dining room.  Does it look a little bit small?  I suppose that it does, but “small” is a word that carries such dreadfully negative connotations.  If you’ve been shopping around recently, you’ve no doubt encountered much larger dining rooms.  Heck, some of them might even have windows and room for a dinner table.  This room, though–in all of its cozy splendor–is going to leave you with a sense of unmitigated freedom.  Sure, it’s too small for a dining room table and it doesn’t have any windows, but don’t let that blind you to the world of possibilities it’s going to open up for you.  You don’t have to worry about buying some big, fancy table, and you don’t even have to worry about eating in there.  You can do whatever you want!  It’s all up to you!

Now, if you’d follow me up these stairs, I’d be happy to show you the bedrooms.  Watch your step, there–that stair is a bit loose.  If you would, just skip that stair entirely.  We had a bit of an accident earlier today, and I’d hate to use up any more of the hospital’s time.

All right, here we are: the master bedroom.  You’ll notice a slight leak in the ceiling above the closet door over there.  That’s by design, of course.  We like to make sure that you don’t actually have to go outside to experience the splendor of the great outdoors.  There’s a big dip in the floor, also by design.  If you ever spill anything on the floor, you can rest assured that it’s going to collect right there–right at the center of the dip; super easy to clean up.  We can’t get the closet door open right now, but rest assured, it’s a huge, walk-in closet.  There’s also a convenient hole located in the north wall of the closet, which will, if you’re careful, take you into a crawl space that eventually leads to your kitchen.

Well, I think that about does it.  Clearly, this home is catered to your convenience, safety, and comfort.  We haven’t looked at the kitchen or the back yard yet, but we’d best leave that for another session entirely.  I’m very confident that your comparison shopping is going to lead you back here this, the best home that you’ve ever seen; the best home that you’ve ever aspired to purchase and live in.

Once again, my name is Brent.  Welcome to your future.  Welcome, my dear friends, to your brand new home.

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