The Worker Bee

Shopping — By Shopping Blogs on February 17, 2010 12:39 pm

Are you tired of actually working when you’re at work?  Do you feel like you were meant for some kind of higher purpose, but you’re just too bogged down with the daily grind to discover that purpose?  Do you feel like you’re just working too much, and that you owe it to yourself to take a nice, long, extended break when you’re on the clock.  Then boy, do I have the product for you!  It’s the Worker Bee Autopilot Robot!  Stop shopping around for a better solution right now!  Once you see our Worker Bee, you won’t feel the need to do any more comparison shopping.  Truly, this is the product for you!

Our worker bee can be customized to look just like you, more or less!  Feel free to do some online shopping on our website!  We have tens of faces that you can choose from, and we also have several body types!  If you really do your homework, then you can create a Worker Bee robot that looks kind of like you do, meaning that you’re never going to have to work again!

Our Worker Bee robots can do everything that you do at your stinking, dead end job.  They can make copies with their eye balls!  They can type at a mind-boggling rate of thirteen words per minute (additional fees apply if you need your Worker Bee to type any faster, but we’re willing to do the work if it means that much to you!).  They can usually send faxes, though we won’t be held accountable for where those faxes end up (our Worker Bees find numbers confusing, and they’re not too great with fax machines that were made after 1992; really, though, are you so great at faxing that your workplace is going to notice?).  You can give your Worker Bee robot all of your privileged information and trust that at least 27% of it is going to end up in the right hands!

Our Worker Bee robots also make for good friends over the weekend!  Have you been online shopping, looking for that special someone on social networking sites and dating sites?  That shopping just isn’t going to cut it!  Buy a Worker Bee robot and give yourself something to do during those long, hard weekends.  Worker Bee robots can play fetch, just like a standard house dog.  They can also do your taxes, though, once again, they’re not very good with numbers (but really, are you?).  Worker Bee robots can drive your car, though we wouldn’t recommend that you ever let them.

Also, Worker Bee robots can do your grocery shopping and your electronics shopping.  They are, after all, ROBOTS!

Don’t believe me?  That’s fine!  We have plenty of happy customers who are willing to expound their opinions about our wonderful product!

“I really didn’t think that a robot would be able to make me so happy, but when I got my Worker Bee, I knew that my life would never be the same.

People don’t even notice that I haven’t been to work in the last seventeen weeks!  They’ve stopped sending me checks, but I’m pretty sure that my Worker Bee robot is just spending them on groceries and piles of electronics that I, well, don’t want and can’t afford.  But really, I’d rather be broke than working, so my Worker Bee is doing just fine!”

“I hated the frequent meetings that I had to attend at my workplace, so I bought a Worker Bee robot to attend them for me.  I lost my job the first time I tried to pull one over on my boss, but hey, I didn’t even want that job to begin with.  Now, I’m finding fulfillment as a bagger at the local grocery store.  I’d rather be doing that than balancing budgets and accepting real, adult responsibilities like I had to do at my other job.  My parents told my Worker Bee to throw itself off of a cliff, but all I ever tell it is “thank you!”"

Don’t work another day!  Stop comparison shopping and give us a call right now!  You’ll be happy that you did!

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