The Man Who Knew Far Too Little

Shopping — By Shopping Blogs on February 19, 2010 6:01 am

If you have ever set out to do a little bit of comparison shopping , then chances are that you’ve tried and failed to make use of all of the tools that are at your disposal.  Perhaps you’ve tried online shopping, or perhaps you have stuck to regular shopping; either way, you’ve probably failed to find that “deal” that everybody is always talking about.  Are you sick and tired of this sense of failure?  Have you had it up to your chin with missing out on all of the special deals that line the pockets of your friends with money?  If so, then you can certainly sympathize with our protagonist, a certain Roger Brimbram.

Roger Brimbram is a man who’s never–I mean NEVER–scored a deal on any product.  Last year, when he went electronics shopping to find a new computer, he ended up buying a model that was discounted the very next day.  All told, he lost about six-hundred dollars that day–that and his computer broke a mere three weeks later (in such a way that the manufacturer refused to repair or replace it; such was the extent of Roger’s bad luck).  People also speculate that Roger once paid nearly eight-hundred dollars for a pair of shoes, and we’re not talking about designer shoes, here.  Roger misread the price tag on the shoes and failed to notice that the cashier had rung him up for eight-hundred dollars.  Truly, when it comes to finding deals, Roger is not the man with whom you want to speak.

Now, the reason that I’ve chosen to focus on Roger, here, is because he’s decided that he’s going to do a little bit of TV shopping today. 

Understandably, I thought that you might find it interesting to follow Roger through the process of buying a TV.  Even if you don’t find it funny, you’re bound to find it… Well, useful, I suppose.

Presently, Roger is standing in front of a large display of TVs.  He has a rough idea of what he wants, but he’s not sure which brand he’s going to run with.  He doesn’t want to buy anything that he doesn’t recognize–not after that terrible incident with the computer.  He also knows that he doesn’t want to buy anything that isn’t “on sale”.  Somewhere, he read that you should always buy the items that are “on sale” because that means that they’re “cheaper”–a concept that seemed valid enough to him.  As he pours over his options, a store clerk comes to his side.

“Are you finding everything that you need, sir?  Is there anything that I can help you with?”  The clerk has a smile on his face, which suggests that he’s pegged Roger for the kind of misled shopper that he is.  No doubt, this clerk makes a commission when he sells a TV.
“Well, I could actually use a bit of help,” Roger responds, trusting the clerk blindly.

“You just need someone to point you in the right direction,” the clerk chides, leading Roger down a row of escalating prices.  Roger begins to sweat.  They come to a stop in front of a 100″ flat-screen “mini-theatre”, the most expensive item in, well, the entire store.  “This,” the clerk deliberately states, “Is the only thing that worth your money.  This, my friend, is The Behemoth–the world’s largest flat screen TV.  And you know what?  If you buy it, I’ll go ahead and throw in something that you can’t pass up: the world’s biggest price tag!”

‘Finally!’ Roger thinks, ‘I’ve managed to score a deal.  Ha!  Just wait until people hear about this!’

Oh, Roger.  When, I ask, will you learn?

Popularity: 1%

Tags: Story