Its fun, and its For the Whole Family

Shopping — By Shopping Blogs on March 5, 2010 7:35 am

Are you looking around for the perfect vacation package for you and your family?  Have you become frustrated with the generic vacation packages that you’ve found so far?  Are you worried that your entire family might leave you if you mess up their vacation plans one more time?  Well, if you’ve answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, then you can rest assured that you have finally arrived at the right place: the Tiger Powered Cruise Boat of Love!  That’s right: our cruise boat is going to fix all of your vacation problems and save your family!

You’ve never come across a cruise ship that’s quite like ours—we guarantee it!  The Tiger Powered Cruise Boat of Love is no misnomer!  First of all, our cruise boat is powered by actual, endangered tigers!  That’s right!  As we float around the ocean, you can lounge about on the deck knowing that one of Earth’s most rare and illustrious creatures is being worked to the point of death just a few floors below your feet!  If that doesn’t make you feel a little bit exotic, we don’t know what will!

Are you scared that the tigers might get out of their cages?  Does it worry you to bring your entire family onto a tiger infested boat?  Well, it shouldn’t!  We’ve taken extra precautions to make sure that your family is not going to be at risk!  The tigers are given heavy doses of sedatives and hypnosis, so they’re not going to be able to break out of their cages without a miracle!  And even if they do, the floors outside of their cages are electrified.  You and your family can rest assured that even infants and toddlers are going to be safe!  If those tigers somehow manage to break free, you’ll be eating tiger for dinner that very night!

Men , are you worried that your relationships are on the rocks because you’ve failed to demonstrate your masculinity over the years?  Do you think a triumphant display of hyper-masculinity can turn your relationship around?  Then boy, do we have the thing for you!  Our tiger-powered cruise ship comes equipped with a full-size Roman gladiator arena!  That’s right: you can fight other men to the death to prove to your women that you know what they want!  Just sign our death waiver when you board the ship and prepare yourself for the relationship that you’ve always wanted!

Girls , are you looking to avoid the intrusive, pimple-faced gazes of those terrible boys at school?  Well, our tiger-powered cruise ship can give you the privacy and freedom that you’ve always wanted.  There’s an all-girls section of the boat that you can use to shut the blinds on that terrible male gaze!

We can’t stress it enough, folks: our tiger-powered cruise ship is all about safely.  Our life boats are perfect for your strollers, so you’ll never have to worry about what you’re going to do with the kids when our invariably unstable captain steers our ship into dangerous, uncharted waters!

But don’t just take our word for it!  Listen to one of our happy customers!

“The Tiger Powered Cruise Boat of Love really turned my life around.  Before my wife and I went on this fantastic trip, I wasn’t sure if we were going to make it through the year.  I knew I had to do something drastic, so I signed myself up for the gladiator arena.  My wife thought it was really romantic.  I look forward to a happier relationship when I’m released from intensive care.”

Don’t let your live take yet another terrible turn!  Come on our cruise and look forward to a brighter tomorrow!

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Discount Joe and Full Price

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