A Lousy Santa

Fictional Stories, Shopping — By Shopping Blogs on January 18, 2010 9:10 am

There’s something very special about people who spend the majority of their time working with (or for) other people: they become remarkably judgmental, remarkably quickly. Such is certainly the case with Stephen, a mall Santa at the city’s largest mall. Of course, if Stephen were to hear me refer to him as a “mall Santa”, it wouldn’t go over lightly.  Though Stephen would acknowledge that he does, indeed, wear a Santa costume at the mall during the holiday season; though he would dually acknowledge that he does receive biweekly payments for wearing said costume at said mall–he would strictly and categorically object to the connotations that come along with the “mall Santa” occupation. For the sake of simplicity, though–and because Stephen does not know about this facetious little tale–we’ll henceforth refer to his occupation with utmost honesty.

Let’s take a look at Stephen, now. There he is, making his way from the parking garage to the center of the mall. He’s making his way through a sea of people doing what they do best during the holiday season: shopping.  That woman over there, the one with the giant red hat and the mean look in her eye: shoe shopping . That man over there, dragging his children across the food court, scolding one of them for spilling his soda on his shoes: electronics shopping . The woman over there, her hair in a bun, one hand holding a cinnamon bun, the other holding a cellphone into which she screams and cackles wildly: shopping, certainly, but not for Christmas–the worst kind of person, Stephen thinks.  And really, it’s here that we should begin to look at Stephen a bit more closely.

You see, as Stephen makes his way to the giant Christmas tree at the center of the mall–Santa’s throne, they call it–he can’t help but judge everyone that he encounters. And these judgments that riddle Stephen’s mind like pockmarks–well, they aren’t of the sort to which you and I are acquainted. There’s something fundamental about Stephen’s judgments, something that transcends the surface. Stephens sees–or, perhaps more accurately, thinks that he sees–the real truth behind a person every time that he sees a person, however brief their encounter may be. Today, he’s decided, he feels most repulsed by the cold, uncaring gazes of the mall’s many parents, dragging their children from one store to the next with such dedication and conviction, such calculation, that he’s led to question the quality and sincerity of their parenting.

‘Just how much can a parent care about their child,’ he angrily ponders, ‘When they’re half-way ripping their arm out of their socket just to make it to the next big deal? What in the world is going on with this country?’

As Stephen nears his throne, a little boy, red-faced and crying, catches his attention.  The little boy is turning around in circles, screaming–looking for his negligent parents, no doubt.  Stephen knows this sort of parent; he’s encountered it several times at work. Not thinking; shopping; in a never-ending quest for the next “big deal”–a parent leaves his child outside of a store for a few minutes. Of course, such cold and uncaring parents never fail to realize that just a few minutes of separation can seem like an eternity to a scared, confused, and no-doubt neglected little kid.

‘How in the world can parents be so uncaring?’ Stephen chimes to himself. ‘I dare say: this time, I’ll step in and do what’s right.’

And as Stephen makes his way to the little boy, the mall’s general manager delivers a blood curdling message over the loud speaker.

“To the owner of a blue, 1996 Ford explorer on Level A of the parking garage: your lights are on, and you left your little kid in the back seat.”

Blushing wildly, Stephen hurries towards the parking garage .  ‘For the sake of all that’s holy,’ he chides, ‘Sharon’s going to kill me if she hears that I did this again…’

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